10. While he was in the holding cell, he worked out the pitching matchups for the first half of the season.

9. The reason he took so long to respond to the cop knocking on his window was that he was trying to put on his Bobby Valentine groucho mask.

8. Though the report said he had sat through two stoplights, officers actually profiled him for the blackletter-fonted "ARF" on his rear window.

7. The one field-sobriety test he passed was a sharply-hit grounder to his right.

6. The original statement that the club released read "The Cardinals organization remains supportive of Tony, who, even drunk, can outmanage Lou Piniella, stone-sober!"

5. Though cooperative, La Russa demanded that his blood-alcohol level be expressed to six decimal places on the official report.

4. La Russa had last been seen fishing with Bill Belicheck, who had brought a case of his home-brewed lager to share.

3. The breathalizer that La Russa used is going for $254.50 on eBay right now.

2 . The six minutes of sleep he got at the stoplight was the only rest he’s allowed himself since Feb. 15.

1. At the police station, he used his one telephone call to drunk-dial Dusty Baker and recite a passage from Three Nights in August.

This entry was posted by Pip on Thursday, March 22nd, 2007 at 10:04 pm and is filed under Top 10 List. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.