Club in transition won despite injuries: The 2008 season in six-word memoirs
One of our favorite surprise gifts of Christmas was a book entitled "Not Quite What I Was Planning: Six-Word Memoirs by Writers Famous and Obscure." As you might expect from the title, it’s a collection of memoirs using only six words.
We enjoyed this curiously creative literary form so much that we’d like to offer a few memoirs for the 2008 Cardinals. Feel free to add your own if the muse strikes.
Elbow didn’t blow, so won MVP.
– Albert Pujols
Always said I could hit. See?
– Ryan Ludwick
Good glove, no hit. Life story.
– Cesar Izturis
PEDs? Maybe. Hit 25 dingers, regardless.
– Rick Ankiel
Parlayed season into fat contract. Thanks!
– Kyle Lohse
Started strong, ran out of gas.
– Kyle McClellan
Call me Crash Davis. With mullet.
– Jason LaRue
Booed. Injured. Looking forward to 2009.
– Chris Duncan
Glad to be here. All year.
– Brian Barton
I’m not a fourth outfielder anymore.
– Skip Schumaker
What do you want from me?
– Braden Looper
Guess I’ll get 300 somewhere else.
– Jason Isringhausen
My badness flew under the radar.
– Joel Pineiro
I’ll play anywhere you want. Hard.
– Joe Mather
See ya. Wouldn’t wanna be ya.
– Anthony Reyes
Traded Astroturf for grass. (Sorry, Scott.)
– Troy Glaus
I can’t believe I’m still here.
– Adam Kennedy
Not best, but won Gold Glove.
– Yadier Molina
Finally left team on high note.
– Felipe Lopez
Inspired some hope but not confidence.
– Chris Perez
The Colonel commanded the zone, battled.
– Todd Wellemeyer
Injury sidetracked awesome year. Closer? Really?
– Adam Wainwright
Glad Cubs don’t know about BABIP.
– Aaron Miles
Unwarranted Type-A status = goodbye, ROOGy.
– Russ Springer
Loved team, just not the finish.
– Tony LaRussa
Traded Rolen, Edmonds, Reyes. Batting .667.
– John Mozeliak
Won divisions, championship, but not fans.
– Bill DeWitt
January 8th, 2009 at 7:55 pm
Ryan Franklin: Thank goodness I’m already under contract.
January 9th, 2009 at 10:06 am
Irate fans: Not enough wins, not enough payroll
January 9th, 2009 at 12:21 pm
Bernie Miklasz: Blog rage bubbles into rapid boil.
January 9th, 2009 at 5:08 pm
1. I could do better than that.
2. When’s it gonna be my turn?
3. I mean, are you kidding? Stavinoha?
4. Bad start, but came on strong.
5. Still Number 1 in the system.
- Colby Rasmus
Used youngsters when given zero alternatives. – TLR
Me? Smartest? In this room? Probably. – Jeff Luhnow
1. Now just gotta stay at third.
2. Like I’ve never heard “Walrus” before.
- Brett Wallace
Homosexual bears, World Series: no Cubs. – Universe
January 9th, 2009 at 5:13 pm
Did I mention I hate baseball? – Joe Buck
Wow, were people actually reading this? – Ken Tremendous
And the weather’s nicer here, too. – Joe Torre
January 10th, 2009 at 2:53 am
Nice fastball, what else you got?
-J. Motte