Is he from the future?

– Jerry Seinfeld to Elaine

What do you get when you cross a speaking panel of Bob Costas, Bill James, Joe Posnanski and Gerald Early with a baseball-mad town in winter? A jam-packed Graham Chapel on the campus of Washington University in St. Louis. Although billed as a discussion on "The Future of Sports," we’d guess that the majority of the hungry crowd Monday night came to be served some baseball morsels from the Hot Stove, especially given the panel’s baseball-heavy reputations. However, we — along with the reportedly more than 500 other attendees — endured several non-baseball appetizer questions before moderator Michael MacCambridge dished up the baseball entree.

The banter at times could have been a live look-in on the filming of Ken Burns’s Baseball, with three two (how did Burns overlook James?!) of the speakers having appeared on the acclaimed documentary, and the other two with credentials to have done so. The panel was at its best when candidly relating personal anecdotes — Early’s childhood tales of the older black men at the barbershop talking sports — and jumping in to zing popular sports culture — Costas’s description of a televised poker player as a "clammy degenerate in a members-only jacket"; it was at its least enjoyable when parroting academy-approved, politically correct positions that would have been at home in a doctrinaire university lecture, such as Costas’s overwrought claim that Title IX was one of the most important social acts of our time.

After aplombly fielding questions on the potential of professional womens’ sports, the prognosis for boxing and the fate of a college football championship, the panel fielded some baseball questions. In particular, in addressing the problem of baseball being too slow, the speakers weighed in with answers ranging from the philosophical to the practical. James asserted that "It’s an easy problem to solve — if you acknowledge the need to solve it." Costas noted that the pace of baseball is to be "leisurely, not lethargic" and that the game in its current state runs "contrary to the metabolism of culture." He offered that calling the high strike would speed things up. Posnanski and James had a different and curious concern: That the rule allowing a team to change pitchers in the middle of a game has been perverted and that baseball could and should restrict late-inning pitching changes. That prompted some agreement from Costas, who offered that relief pitchers change the narrative of the game: Whereas once viewers enjoyed the struggle between a tiring pitcher like Bob Gibson having to face Willie Stargell for the fourth time in a game, today’s fans don’t have that continuity throughout a game. Citing evidence that we’re able to process information more quickly and multitask, Early ventured that Americans’ shortening attention spans means a problem for baseball.

James good-naturedly answered a question from the audience about the impact and currency of sabermetrics in the mainstream media, noting that it was "clear that Felix [Hernandez] wouldn’t have won [the AL Cy Young award] without the knowledge revolution." Given that Posnanski had recently blogged about how Hernandez’s award didn’t prove anything about sabermetrics, we thought that the topic would produce a fun debate, but neither party enjoined the argument. (We showed last year that the trend away from wins to strikeouts has been going on for several years now.)

Some other baseball-related commentary:

• James on baseball’s future: Despite the high barrier to entry, MLB is vulnerable to an outside league starting up if it promises a better product, such as 90-minute games. Costas’s counter: Any new league would suffer from lack of history.
• James on the possibility of an MLB salary cap in next five years: "0% chance"
• James on instant replay: He would rather build an electronic system that allows umpires to make the right call the first time, such as a green light indicator for close plays at first base.
• Posnanski on whether changes to the game make it better or worse: Baseball is best — perfect — when you’re 10 years old. After that, it can only become less perfect. Early agreed, and took the idea further to say that when you’re young, you don’t care about or at least have a hard time appreciating history. He related an anecdote about going to the barbershop with his dad and hearing the older men talk about Jackie Robinson and Satchel Paige. "I didn’t care who those old guys were!" Funny to hear a man so well-known for his writings on race in America to admit to an adolescent apathy about the great groundbreaking players of the game.
• James on whether it’s ever okay to manage by gut: Yes, if for no other reason than to avoid being predictable. But stats don’t always offer a clear decision (e.g., when to sac bunt).
• James on the future of lacrosse (question from a member of the audience wearing a Yankees cap): Lacrosse needs better stats.

We had a chance to buttonhole James (and Posnanski — both were gracious and affable) afterward for some one-on-one questions (some from the Twitterverse). He is already on Twitter, though he claims he’s still figuring out how to use it (along with other gadgets), and he didn’t offer any ideas for the future of sabermetrics. When we asked him which was the next market inefficiency that teams could exploit this offseason, he dryly suggested "just watch what the [post-Minaya] Mets do." We inquired whether any major-league GMs still put stock in stuff like pitcher wins and losses; to our astonishment, he indicated yes, and that they were hardly a rarity. As he then said, old ideas die hard. Indeed, Bill, indeed.

[Related: Video (forum), Video (Q and A)]

If you live in St. Louis, you might have noticed the “Arches on Parade” around town: 10-foot-tall replica arch statues that commemorate the upcoming All-Star Game. We created a Google map for those of you locals — and any visitors coming to town for the event — who want to know where to find them.

View 2009 St. Louis All-Star Game Arches in a larger map

For Schumaker, a position revamp isn’t lone fortuity out of leftfield.

An infielder’s glove isn’t the only new thing that Cardinal second baseman Skip Schumaker will be trying on for the 2009 season. On Wednesday morning, Schumaker announced that he’s going to play the upcoming season under the name “Cinco Cinco.”

“I figured that, with the new position and all, why not change the name, too?” Schumaker said. “It’s a whole new me.”

Schumaker acknowledged that the unconventional moniker, Spanish for each of the digits in his uniform number, would be strange at first for fans but noted that it wouldn’t be without its benefits on the team.

“Sometimes in the dugout it gets confusing, people saying ‘Skip’ and meaning [manager] Tony [La Russa]. So I’m going with Cinco Cinco. It’s just easier.”

Schumaker follows in the footsteps of the Cincinnati Bengals’ Ocho Cinco, formerly known as Chad Johnson, who changed his name to his uniform number — 85 — last season.

“Hey, it worked for, you know, what’s his name — that guy who plays wide receiver for the Bengals.”

Schumaker informed the team of his decision yesterday, and the club has already issued a set of revised jerseys.

“‘Mo’ [GM John Mozeliak] understood. I’ve kind of had an identity issue all my life, honestly,” said Schumaker, whose birth name is Jared Michael. “My family and people who don’t know me call me ‘Jared’ and fans call me ‘Skip,’ so this simplifies things. All they have to do is look at my jersey and remember the Spanish word for five.”

Cinco Cinco figures to bat numero uno on opening day and play position quattro for the first time in his major league career. The Cardinals and manager Tony La Russa are just hoping he can avoid a sombrero.

“I’m going to write in number 55 at the top of my lineup card, so it works either way for me,” said Tony La Russa, now the team’s sole Skip. La Russa noted that he’s already planning to rename several of his pets with Spanish numbers.

Teammate and Dominican Republic native Albert Pujols accepts the new name.

“It’s funny that a guy with a Swedish [Schumaker is actually German] name would want to change to a Spanish one,” said Albert Pujols. “But as long as he doesn’t change it to El Hombre, I don’t judge, you know what I’m saying, mang?”

Upon hearing Schumaker’s announcement, MLB commissioner Bud Selig issued a statement Wednesday morning, saying, “Baseball isn’t just America’s game, anymore. Cinco Cinco’s bold decision shows how far we’ve come in reaching out to global markets. We’re doing a lot to diversify the fan base. I’m very proud of that.”

The Beaumont boys — Earl Weaver, Lee Thomas and Chuck Diering — highlighted another delightful Bob Broeg Chapter Hot Stove Meeting this past Saturday at Mike Shannon’s Restaurant in downtown St. Louis. The evening featured the panel of the trio of Beaumont High School graduates as well as presentations from local baseball luminaries Mike Girsch, Director of Player Development for the St. Louis Cardinals, and Dan O’Neill, columnist from the St. Louis Post-Dispatch (view all photos)

As of September 1998, Beaumont High School in St. Louis had no fewer than 15 major league players and one major-league manager, the most of any high school, according to Baseball Digest:

• Bobby Mattick
• Pete Reiser
• Buddy Blattner
• Chuck Diering
• Jack Maguire
• Bobby Hofman
• Jim Goodwin
• Roy Sievers
• Don Mueller
• Earl Weaver
• Bob Wiesler
• Neal Hertweck
• Lloyd Merritt
• Lee Thomas
• Bill Pleis
• Bob Miller
• Roy Branch

Weaver (1948), Thomas (1954) and Diering (1941) all reminisced about their playing days at Beaumont, and Weaver and Thomas traced their success back to their coach, Mr. Elliot. Weaver showed that, while he’s getting older, he’s still got some moxie, mixing in zingers about former umpires and his fellow panelists alike.

Before the Beaumont boys began, Girsch continued in the tradition of Cardinal decision-makers appearing at the Hot Stove, providing insight into his work analyzing data and creating sytems for the team to be able to better assess players. Following Jeff Luhnow in 2006 and John Mozeliak in 2007, the sabermetrics-friendly Girsch similarly demonstrated in his appearance that the team is in competent hands in the player-development side of the business.

O’Neill graciously previewed the DVD version of his new book "Sportsman’s Park," which he narrated a la John Chancellor in Ken Burns’s Baseball. The video had many restored images of the old park, as well as players and St. Louis scenes that were part of the life of the venerable ballyard, home to the most games in major-league history.

As usual, Bob Tiemann stumped the audience with trivia, like "Both Billy Southworth and Earl Weaver had their final minor-league managing stint working for which club?" (Rochester) and "What six different major-league teams, tied for the 20th-century record, did Dick Williams manage?" (California, Boston, Oakland, San Diego, Seattle, Montreal). The meeting also marked the end of chapter president Norm Richards’s term and the beginning of Jim Rygelski’s. Thanks, Norm, for many tremendous years at the helm.

Jim Edmonds has been quietly perfecting his right-handed swing this spring.

In an effort to counter his waning performance against lefthanded pitchers, Jim Edmonds will begin 2007 as a switch-hitter.

After stepping into the left side of the batter’s box in 6896 plate appearances in 14 major-league seasons, the Cardinal centerfielder will bat righthanded against lefthanded pitchers this season. His first test will be against future Hall of Famer Tom Glavine as the Cardinals host the Mets in the season opener tonight.

"Tommy’s gotten the better of me over the years," said Edmonds, who has a paltry .586 OPS in 24 plate appearances against Glavine. "But I’m hoping that I can see his changeup better from the right side. I can’t be much worse [batting righthanded]."

The move will undoubtedly come as a surprise to many, considering that Edmonds — presumably — missed most of camp recovering from offseason surgery and has had only 13 plate appearances this spring. But to get experience batting righthanded, Edmonds has actually spent most of spring training playing under a pseudonym in various minor-league games and on the back diamonds at camp. He never once appeared righthanded as “himself,” even as late as Saturday night’s Civil Rights Game, in which he batted left against Cleveland southpaw Jeremy Sowers. The centerfielder was able to keep his secret training under wraps by wearing a fake beard to conceal his identity.

"Tony thought it’d be best if the word didn’t get around the league about my experiment," Edmonds said. "The surgery was a natural excuse, but since I’m a fairly recognizable, good-looking guy, I needed a disguise." Edmonds says he contacted former Mets manager Bobby Valentine, who once famously returned to a game in a groucho-style disguise after being ejected. "Bobby’s a little more straight and narrow now that he’s been in Japan. But he turned me onto a costume guy in Osaka, and he hooked me up."

The Cardinals were initially skeptical when Edmonds — who became convinced of the benefits of a platoon advantage after a chance meeting with sabermetrician Sean Forman at a Las Vegas casino — approached them with the idea back in January. But after looking at Edmonds’s career splits, the team gave Edmonds the green light, on the condition that he train under the tutelage of special instructor Bunny Mick, who worked with former Cardinal outfielder Vince Coleman in 1989 to improve his pitch selection and bunting. After several attempts to reach Mick went unanswered, the team was informed that Mick had died Sept. 14, 2005. That’s when Cardinal manager Tony La Russa stepped in and suggested his former player Walt Weiss, who as a switch-hitting shortstop for La Russa’s Oakland A’s was equally inept from both sides of the plate.

La Russa sounded an optimistic note on his new weapon.

"Personally, I’m proud of him taking this step at this point in his career," La Russa said. "From a manager’s perspective, it gives me options, at least. There were times last year when I wished I could’ve pinch-hit for him, but with whom — Belliard, Vizcaino? Please."

Cardinal fans will recall another spring attempt at switch-hitting, that of Bo Hart in 2005. Hart ultimately gave up his left-handed swing and was non-tendered later that year. Edmonds, however, isn’t worried about a similar fate.

"Totally different, totally," explained Edmonds. "I just have to remember to take my righthanded bat up there with me, and I’ll be fine."