1. Listening to Kool and the Gang after the 1982 Championship
The Cardinals had just beaten the Brewers for the world championship. Images of Whitey Herzog embracing Keith Hernandez, Darrell Porter drinking his diet Pepsi and President Reagan calling to congratulate them all — ah, the good-old days and innocence of my youth. My little brother and I played the Kool and the Gang Cardinals Celebration 45 until our record player broke.

2. Getting Vince Coleman’s autograph, 1985
In August of 1985, Vince Coleman was well on his way to winning rookie of the year, having stolen 72 bases. But he hadn’t yet, so he was still on the signing-autographs-car-dealerships circuit, and my mom took my brother and me to meet the new Cardinal star at a dealership in Belleville. My mother never really accepted the fact that I was a Mets fan at the time, and I certainly didn’t tell Coleman that. I still remember his black velour track suit and huge chain with #29 hanging from it. Little did I know that he would one day be charged with endangerment for throwing a lit firecracker into a crowd of fans waiting for his autograph in the Dodger Stadium parking lot. Guess I should count my blessings.

3. Getting to the Cardinals-Expos game in the eighth inning with my dad, 1988
When I was young, getting to go to a baseball game was on par with birthday parties and trips to Six Flags. Box seats were roughly the equivalent of a trip to Disney World. That’s why, when my dad landed upon a pair of first-row box seats in front of the visiting team’s bullpen, which of course in the old park was just down third-base line, we had to go, even if that meant leaving for the game in the seventh inning (either he worked late, or I had my own ballgame), with the promise of only an inning or so of baseball. The Cardinals were up 2-0 when we left, but as we drove, we heard the Expos rallying on the radio. By the time we arrived at our seats, the game was tied, and it was looking like extras. Talk about validating our decision: The game went 14 innings, and my dad and I got to see nearly a full game’s worth of action. The Cardinals lost, but we had triumphed.

4. Andy Van Slyke refereeing flag football at FCA camp, ca. 1988-89
Like a lot of boys, I grew up reading about baseball in The Sporting News, and I loved their weekly quotes column, in which Andy Van Slyke was a regular. For example, once when asked if he died and could be reincarnated whom would he come back as, Van Slyke replied, "My wife. Then I could see how wonderful I am." This guy was clearly hilarious. So when I attended a Fellowship of Christian Athletes camp in Eureka, Mo., during high school and found out that Van Slyke, along with Todd Worrell, Ricky Horton and others would be there, I was thrilled. I had no idea Van Slyke would end up refereeing our flag football game. When I attempted to spot an inbounds throw, I dutifully consulted Van Slyke as to where I should stand. "Ah, just keep going," Van Slyke motioned nonchalantly, as I suspiciously took another 20 feet toward my opponents’ goal. How cool was this guy!, I wondered. At any rate, I should’ve been more confident — what teenager was going to challenge a Gold Glover’s decision?

5. Sneaking up to meet Ernie Hays, ca. 1990-91
In high school, my friends and I sneaked and fibbed our way to any place at Busch Stadium where were weren’t allowed to be, which was usually anywhere but the upper deck. After getting kicked out of the box seats, we got the wild idea to try to meet legendary organist Ernie Hays. After the game, we sweet-talked our way to his booth, where he received us like we were old pals. We asked him about the music he played for the various players, and I asked him if he remembered what he played for Keith Hernandez. "Let’s see," he said. "Ah, yes, it was Jethro Tull — Thick as a Brick." You just can’t get that kind of info from the internet.

6. Ray Lankford sombrero encounter, 1998
While my in-laws, my wife and I were driving to and from the Missouri wineries during a weekend visit, we listened to the ballgame on the radio. It was a classic Cubs-Cards tilt, and Ray Lankford was wearing the ignominious golden sombrero — 0-for-5 with five strikeouts — after nine innings. But he atoned with a game-tying two-run homer in the 11th, then hit a walkoff infield single to win it in the 13th. That evening, we went to dinner at Bar Italia (old location), when who should take a table next to us but Lankford and a pal. I leaned in to tell my father-in-law that Ray Lankford was "sitting right over there!" Hard of hearing, my father-in-law didn’t catch the latter part of my nuanced low talk and replied full-voiced, "You mean the guy who struck out five times today?!" In unison, his wife, my wife and I hushed him and said that he was "sitting right over there!" To which he replied innocently, "Why didn’t you tell me?"

7. Sitting through a sweltering game at old Busch, 2000
You’re not really a Cardinal fan until you’ve sat through a 100-degree afternoon game at the concrete doughnut of old Busch Stadium. My wife and I — at the time Cardinal and Met fans, respectively — sweated out the vintage Darryl Kile-Mike Hampton duel back on Sept. 2, 2000, which Kile and the Cardinals won 2-1 in the bottom of the ninth. I can’t honestly say that I remember Fernando Vina’s walkoff single off the cursed Armando Benitez because I was struggling to stay alive, going to the underpressured water fountain three sections away each inning to fill up our water bottles with warm water. I appreciated what a great game we’d witnessed — about five years later. (By the way, Wolfram Alpha says that it "only" got up to 91 degrees, but the dewpoint — a.k.a. air wetness — was a sultry 75.)

8. "Father’s Day" Game, 2002
I didn’t meet my wife at a baseball game, but we’ve had many formative experiences watching baseball. Like when we were at a Mets-Cards game in 2002: She excused herself and returned with a bag containing a gift for me. I opened it and pulled out a kid-sized Cardinal hat. I blockheadedly wondered why she bought me the wrong size, before I realized that it had a positive pregancy test attached to it, and that it was for our bambino-to-be. A better way to find out that I was a father I cannot imagine.

9. Game 5 of the 2006 Series and becoming a Cardinal fan again.
Baseball doesn’t get any better than being there when your team wins a championship, the important modifier being "your." For me, who had suffered under the yoke of Mets’ fanship for the 23 year prior, the Cardinals became my team again, breaking the Curse of Keith Hernandez, and I saw it in person with my wife and dear friends. I still remember the upper deck shaking as the Cardinals won, and later walking down Washington Ave. high-fiving strangers in cars.

10. Touching Keith Hernandez’s blazer, 2007
The Mets were in town for the 2007 home opener, which meant that my boyhood idol, Keith Hernandez, one of the Mets’ broadcasters, was somewhere in the ballpark. I was giddy with the mere knowledge that I could theoretically meet him. But I wasn’t prepared for what was to happen, when I, starting my job for MLB.com, rode the press elevator down to the ground floor to grab a pregame meal in the cafeteria. As the doors opened, an assembly of Cardinal legends stood in a u-shape, waiting for the elevator (waiting for me, it seemed!). Lou Brock, Bruce Sutter, Ozzie Smith, Bob Gibson — and Keith Hernandez: Baseball heaven, indeed! I forced myself off the elevator toward them — here was the moment I’d been waiting for all my life, to meet Hernandez and get his autograph, and not wanting to appear unprofessional (not to mention like a big dork), I simply couldn’t. But knowing that I needed something, some tangible memento from this encounter, I made my way into the crowd, targeted an opening next to Hernandez and bumped into him, patting the fabric of his royal-blue blazer shoulder while adding a suave, "Excuse me" and never looked back. You may ask what can be gained feeling a person’s material. A lot, let me tell you.

10. Mohs rock
9. More Sajak
8. Mozilla Firefox
7. Mo’s a warlock
6. Mosey down the block
5. Mosaic law
4. Mozambique
3. Hemophiliac
2. Mows Iraq
1. Mozilocks

10. Aaron Miles Runs Created per 27 outs during night games: 3.33. During day: 8.16

9. Brad Thompson K/BB as starter: 2.43 (124 BF). as reliever: 1.25 (149 BF)

8. Rick Ankiel home runs pre-All-Star Break: 20. Post-All-Star Break: 5

7. Adam Kennedy Isolated Power vs. LHP: .027. vs. RHP: .109

6. Yadier Molina On-Base Percentage on 1-0 count (42 PA): .476. on 1-1 count (55 PA): .200

5. Kyle McClellan ERA at home: 2.84. Away: 5.26

4. Felipe Lopez walks per plate appearance vs. RHP: .094 (117 PA). vs. LHP: .000 (52 PA)

3. Cesar Izturis stolen bases pre-All-Star Break (73 games): 8. Post-All-Star Break: 16 (62 games)

2. Troy Glaus Gross-Production Average batting 4th: .225. Batting 5th: .293

1. Randy Flores Gross-Production Average Against with bases empty: .253. With runners on: .338 (NL avg: .249, .253)

10. Lidge: Im your huckleberry. -AP
9. Howz that shoulder, #27? Alex n Hee Sop
8. Leave me alone, Dunc -Reyes
7. Nice W-L record, Kip!!! -Strauss
6. JLu: UR killin me. –Jock
5. TINSTAAPP — Dunc
4. Hancock owes us a new bumper. -Eddie’s Towing
3. I H8 U, TLR! -#27
2. Edmonds has an STD! Eww!
1. How you like me now? — Danny H

(The irrepressible Matt Sebek has a few more sightings at JoeSportsFan.)

9. Jacque Jones

8. J.D. Drew

7. Ted Lilly

6. Alex Rodriguez

5. Kenny Lofton

4. Alfonso Soriano

3. David Ortiz

2. Jason Giambi

1. Manny Ramirez

9. The reason he took so long to respond to the cop knocking on his window was that he was trying to put on his Bobby Valentine groucho mask.

8. Though the report said he had sat through two stoplights, officers actually profiled him for the blackletter-fonted "ARF" on his rear window.

7. The one field-sobriety test he passed was a sharply-hit grounder to his right.

6. The original statement that the club released read "The Cardinals organization remains supportive of Tony, who, even drunk, can outmanage Lou Piniella, stone-sober!"

5. Though cooperative, La Russa demanded that his blood-alcohol level be expressed to six decimal places on the official report.

4. La Russa had last been seen fishing with Bill Belicheck, who had brought a case of his home-brewed lager to share.

3. The breathalizer that La Russa used is going for $254.50 on eBay right now.

2 . The six minutes of sleep he got at the stoplight was the only rest he’s allowed himself since Feb. 15.

1. At the police station, he used his one telephone call to drunk-dial Dusty Baker and recite a passage from Three Nights in August.